3 Things You Can Control

For the first time in my career, I feel out of control when it comes to my path forward. With everything happening in the world right now, work feels somewhat trivial. However, I’m struggling to stay motivated for a different reason. The pandemic’s effect on the economy has essentially put my goals “on hold.”

Typically, I’m a driven, self-igniter, so I usually don’t struggle in this department. If anything, I struggle with being too ambitious. I’m an enneagram 3. Setting goals and figuring out how I’m going to achieve them is what my brain loves most. COVID is teaching me a lot about letting go of what you cannot control. However, I’ve realize that there are three things you can control.

3 Things You Can Control

1. Developing yourself
2. Showing up for your team
3. Staying close to the work

2020 Goals

Professionally, I’ve had a goal in mind that I’ve been working to achieve for the past several years. As part of the burnout I experienced at the end of 2019, I took a critical look at my goals. Rather than classifying them as long-term and short-term, I gave myself actual deadlines for each. Reflecting in this way forced me to be honest with myself about what I want from my career and within what timeframe. Looking back, I think reevaluating my goals and adding deadlines helped me feel more in control of my path.

So enter 2020. Thanks to some new opportunities within my agency, I was able to take on some different responsibilities. As a result, I received the reinvigoration I so desperately needed. I was feeling good about my career and where I was headed. The best part was that I was tracking to achieve one of my key goals by my given deadline!

And then COVID happened.

Losing Control

Luckily, I haven’t been laid off or furloughed. I still have my job, and I am incredibly thankful for that. However, because of COVID, that goal I’ve been working so hard toward isn’t achievable right now. Not by the deadline I’ve been working toward, and probably not in 2020…unless something magical happens and the economy rebounds like an NBA All-Star.

The hardest part for me is that there is absolutely nothing I can do to control this situation. I’m a control freak (hello, enneagram 3 over here!). So this thought is a source of anxiety and something I obsess over daily. From this experience, I’ve learned my brain is wired for thriving, not surviving. The idea of just surviving by “riding it out” or “hanging in there” is not for me.

Fighting with Myself

On the other side of my brain, I remember how incredibly fortunate I am to be gainfully employed right now. People are fighting for their lives, living on the streets or not knowing where their next meal will come from. I have zero problems in comparison and I should focus on being grateful.

On a daily basis, I have this ultra-frustrating cognitive dissonance between these two thoughts. One minute I feel defeated and helpless when it comes to my career. The next, I feel terrible for feeling defeated when I know so many others out there have it much worse. Regardless of which thought loop I’m on, I don’t feel good.

I feel guilty for being negative. I’m anxious and fearful because I don’t have any control over the situation. I hate feeling this way. So, I’ve been forcing myself to step back and evaluate what parts of the situation I can control. The things I can control are what deserve my energy.

Focusing on 3 Things I Can Control:

1. Developing myself.

I can’t control how COVID has affected the economy and our industry. But what I can control is how I invest in myself. I can build upon my existing professional skillset. Once I started thinking this way, I realized there are tons of options! I’m taking advantage of any down time by working on or learning things I would previously put on the back burner because I was “too busy.”

I’ve been finding a bunch of interesting articles and webinars on leading a team during COVID and practicing emotional intelligence. The psychology behind how the pandemic is affecting people is fascinating to me. Probably because I feel so conflicted. If I’m struggling right now, I know others on my team are, too. When it comes to motivating myself and others during this crazy time, I can use all the pointers I can get. Hence the way I’m leaning into my own development right now.

2. Showing up for my team.

I can’t control what’s happening in the world, but I can control my attitude and how I interact with others. Emotional intelligence is more important than ever right now because we are in a situation of unprecedented, heightened uncertainty. Emotions are running high. Those around us (myself included) are operating from a more fearful, anxious state than normal. I keep reminding myself of this fact so that I can consciously filter my actions and reactions to reflect empathy.

3. Staying close to the work.

This is an important lesson I learned the hard way. And it has stuck with me every day since. Sometimes, we get so focused on the endgame that we overlook what’s right in front of us. For example, who cares what goal you might achieve in the future if you’re delivering sub-par work to your clients right now? You might not even have those clients if you don’t pay close attention to the work right in front of you! To me, this means focus on the day-to-day and making sure that that work is flawless. In my experience, the rest usually falls into place.

Changing My Mindset

So that’s what I’m focusing on right now. I can’t say this is a perfect solution and I no longer experience any fear or anxiety — I totally do. It’s a weekly, if not daily, struggle. There is so much up in the air and so much that we cannot control. I think it’s only natural that these feelings still exist. However, I now feel better equipped to manage my own emotions and expectations. When I feel that panic setting in, I force myself to pause and take a step back. Then I reevaluate the situation through one of these three lenses.

COVID is throwing us all some pretty insane curveballs. However, I’m trying to remember this is an opportunity to evolve (and maybe overcome some of my control freak tendencies). At the end of the day, we can only control our own mindset and how we choose to move forward.